final read through and a last set of small changes

[bmh-research_statement] / research_statement.tex

diff --git a/research_statement.tex b/research_statement.tex
index 40f7b927e3708de1f78c809c2112cc9ad231236d..58903587b8df186ce28d63c7a41dfbb20758a267 100644 (file)
--- a/research_statement.tex
+++ b/research_statement.tex
@@ -185,8 +185,8 @@ In a study of status-based awards in Wikipedia called ``barnstars''
 (see Figure \ref{fig:barnstar}) -- a collaboration with Aaron Shaw and
 Yochai Benkler -- I provide an empirical test of an influential
 status-based theory of collective action from sociology. Although the
-study finds support for the widely hypothesized ``virtuous cycle'' of
-status rewards both causing and being caused by contributions, it also
+study finds support for a widely hypothesized ``virtuous cycle'' in which
+status rewards both cause and are caused by contributions, it also
 finds that this effect is limited to a sub-population of Wikipedia
 contributors -- ``signalers'' who show off their awards
 \cite{hill_status_2012}. This result has broad implications for both
@@ -202,7 +202,7 @@ automated system because systems fail to reinforce status-ordering
 with credible human expressions of social deference and
 gratitude. These studies suggest important limits to previous
 theoretical work on status as a motivator for collective action, and
-describe a more nuanced theoretical model.
+put forward a more nuanced theoretical model.
 
 %\newpage
 \section{Design-Driven Natural Experiments}
@@ -269,7 +269,7 @@ issues of performance, efficiency, and quality. Using my existing
 datasets, I plan to compare the performance of collaborative
 production to individually produced works to understand when
 successful collection action leads to increased performance. For
-example, in an analysis using data from Scratch which currently under
+example, in an analysis using data from Scratch which is currently under
 review -- done in collaboration with Monroy-Hernández -- I show
 important limitations of collaboration through remixing in regards to
 project quality, particularly for more artistic or media-intensive
@@ -288,7 +288,7 @@ possible through personal relationships I have with a series of
 organizations with large, active, online communities (e.g., the MIT
 Media Lab and the Wikimedia Foundation). These organizations, like
 many others, make design changes to the software that supports their
-communities to encourage contributions and improve users'
+communities to encourage contributions and improve their users'
 experiences. Most of the time, these organizations have very little
 idea if these changes are effective. I plan to seek funding for, and
 to create, a technical framework and a network of academic and